Obawa Jokes

[Brisco]

Place 'em here!!

I'll Start.................

Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked
in the mirror and noticed that he was white from neck to the top of his head.In a sheer panic and fearing he was turning white all over,he called his doctor and told him what had happened.The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately.After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Obama, and told him to drink it all. Obama drank the stuff and said, "What the Hell was that?? That tasted like bullsh*t!"
"It was said the Doctor.....You were a quart low!"

[ccoop769]

A guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender.
The robot says, “What will you have?”
The guy says, “Martini.”
The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man,
“What’s your IQ?”
The guy says, “168.”
The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology
The guy leaves, but he is curious…
So he goes back into the bar.
The robot bartender says, “What will you have?”
The guy says, “Martini.”
Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says,
“What’s your IQ?”
The guy says, “100.”
The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time..
He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What will you have?”
The guy says, “Martini,” and the robot brings him another great martini.
The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?”
The guy says, “Uh, about 50..”
The robot leans in real close and says,
“So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?”

[ccoop769]

Top Twenty Five Features of ObamaCare


"No Shirt, No Shoes, No Surgery"


1. Medical degrees from Devry.
2. Mandatory organ donor cards.
3. Lighters used to sterilize syringes.
4. Stomach stapling done at Office Max.
5. Coin operated morphine dispensers.
6. Tap water is a plasma substitute.
7. Homeless people all have only one kidney.
8. Free cremation with any major operation.
9. Bunkbeds in the Intensive Care Unit.
10. Your first dose of narcotics is free.
11. Special "showers" for the elderly.
12. Tongue depressors taste like Popsicles.
13. None of the nurses speak English.
14. The hospital cafeteria failed its health inspection.
15. Ambulances have meters.
16. Hospital walls are infested with "lab" rats.
17. Do-it-yourself heart bypass kits.
18. Wind up pacemakers.
19. You make up your own hospital bed.
20. Anesthesia comes in a bong.:D:D:D
21. Patients' meals are MREs.
22. Leeches make a comeback!
23. Hospital TVs are all turned to MSNBC.
24. Sears surgical tools.
25. A visit to the hospital will automatically cancel your life insurance policy.

[ccoop769]

Why Beer Is Better Than Obama

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

Benjamin Franklin


Beer is better than Obama because soldiers like beer.

Beer is better than Obama because sailors like beer.

Beer is better than Obama because marines like beer.

Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't come from Madrassas.

Beer is better than Obama because you know what's in beer.

Beer is better than Obama because beer won't take half your paycheck.

Beer is better than Obama because beer makes life a little better.

Beer is better than Obama because you're sad if there's no more beer.

Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't lie.

Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't have entitlement demands.

Beer is better than Obama because beer and whine don't mix.

Beer is better than Obama because beer has a pretty good head on it.

Beer is better than Obama because beer and bowling go together.

Beer is better than Obama because beer and arugula don't.

Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't leave a bad taste in your mouth.

Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t mind if you cling to your beer.

Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn’t trash talk you behind your back.

Beer is better than Obama because cold beer disproves the myth of man made global warming.

Beer is better than Obama because imported beer doesn’t pretend to be domestic.

Beer is better than Obama because beer likes it when I set my thermostat COLD.

Beer is better than Obama because beer is GREEN only on St. Patrick’s Day.

Beer is better than Obama because beer didn’t smoke pot and snort coke.

Beer is better than Obama because beer is better than Vichy Water.

Beer is better than Obama because beer is unpretentious.

Beer is better than Obama because people in small towns cling to God, guns and beer.

Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't promise you a free lunch.

Beer is better than Obama because there ain't no Pabst Bilal* Ribbon. Not yet anyway.
*"Bilal - Satisfies thirst; name of the Prophets Muezzin (one who calls for prayer)"

Beer is better than Obama because beer won’t throw you under the bus.

Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't cut and run.

Beer is better than Obama because beer isn't phony.

Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't flip-flop.

Beer is better than Obama because beer’s ingredients known for sure.

Beer is better than Obama because beer makes people happy.

Beer is better than Obama because beer is as American as apple pie.

Beer is better than Obama because beer isn't promoted on National Public Radio.

Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't mind if you own an SUV.

Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't care how much you make.

Beer is better than Obama because a beer won't blame America for 9/11.

Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't whine, it bubbles.

Beer is better than Obama because beer isn't a lawyer.

Beer is better than Obama because beer comes with an expiration date.

Beer is better than Obama because beer and NASCAR go together.

Beer is better than Obama because you're not afraid to turn your back on a beer.

Beer is better than Obama because beers don't have friends who bombed the pentagon.

Beer is better than Obama because an empty beer is better than an empty suit.

Beer is better than Obama because beer minds its own business.

Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't tell you what you want to hear.

Beer is better than Obama because beer is worth what you pay for it.

Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't lecture you about "global warming."

Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't care what color you are.

Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't want to take away your gun.

Beer is better than Obama because beer is popular with working people.

Beer is better than Obama because beer isn't crazy.

Beer is better than Obama because beers don't start out as empties.

Beer is better than Obama because beers don't rig elections.

Beer is better than Obama because beers don't raise taxes.

Beer is better than Obama because beer and coke don't mix.

Beer wants to make you sociable; Obama wants to make you socialist.

No matter how often you pee, you can't rid yourself of Obama.

A beer hangover means you had a good time; an Obama hangover means the good times are gone.

Beer will make the ball game more fun; Obama will tax your balls off.

Too much beer means some of us will occasionally have to say "I'm sorry." Too much Obama means we're all gonna be very, very sorry for a long, long time.

[sclyde]

Texans still have a sense of humor despite the current state of affairs. This was spotted in Austin and the city is a bastion of Liberals. It is good to see someone is still rational up there.

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